Intrusions

Vedder Bridge vs Sky

Perhaps I should have titled this post insinuations because intrusions seem to happen suddenly while something that insinuates itself into your life will tend to do so over time in a relatively unnoticeable fashion.  The title stands though because once the covert maneuvers have allowed for a tactical advantage then the boot to the door follows and the intrusion is unmasked.  Sometimes it is the innocent distraction that morphs into an insatiable time devourer and other times it is the tongue wagging, doe eyed pet that remembers its animal nature just as you draw face to face and the wagging tongue draws back between bared teeth.  Both are kept close by due to their ability to render some level of instant gratification or ego stroking, but this also gives them access to our more vulnerable emotional depths.  Were it possible to photograph that moment it would be the face of dumbfounded disbelief.  Betrayal.

I have found more than one of these in my life lately and the strange thing is that in the moment of clarity when I am struggling to make sense of it and at the same time keep it from digging in deeper I look around me and in the brief, fading light I see more movement at the fringes.  If the foes who are upon me now may be brought to submission there are more on the way.  A strategy is going to be needed soon or I will be caged; owned.

The photo above brought this to mind because of how the metal beams and rivets appear to be crowding out the blue sky and though the steel structure steadfastly serves its purpose it cannot be considered more important than the heavens above.  Most of the things that want to gnaw away at my time are actually useful in some way.  They fulfill certain concrete needs as in the case of my work, or my obligations as a husband and father, and others satiate more esoteric needs such as watching a movie or reading a book.  They are not offensive in and of themselves.  In fact they are necessary.  Yet they can still obscure the source of my deeper needs.  They, in a sense, erode their very foundations within me when they are handed the seat of authority.  It becomes apparent that these necessities were never made to rule, but to be ruled.

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